Hillbilly Sayings, Slang, and Advice

Right here, you’ll find a big O list of hillbilly sayings and slang:

iza gonna go get me sompim i beback

My tongue twisted around my eye teeth and I couldn’t see what I was saying!

Not worth a hoot and a holler!

Slicker than snot on a glass doorknob.

Shit fire and save the matches

Grinning like a opossum shitting peach seeds.

dumer na coal bucket

Hottern a hen on a hot rock.

You dasn’t do it

Colder than a well diggers ass

gonna havta open up a can a’ whoopass on ya

Ain’tcha got arry one better’n that un?

jeet yet? yont to!

Pull up your britches

I done did that

I went fishin yesterday night

Iffin youd be more spific bout what your askin I might be able to help youins out.

I don’t reckon I understand yer question.

Well I’ll be

I’ll be over yonder dreckly, y’all just havta wait a minute

Getter done

I aint got no money

The chitlins are out playin in the sandbox

you did bring your knife whidjadidja

dag nab it

Like a bat out of hell

Busier than a cat burying poop

Not the sharpest tool in the shed

“O” dark thirty

If the Lord wanted you brown, he’d have started you out that way.

Her butt is two axe handles wide

Can’t hit bull in the butt with a handful of rocks

Dumber than a box of rocks

Slicker than deer guts on a door knob

If ifs and buts were candied nuts oh what a Christmas it would be

Its raining like a cow pissing on a flat rock

Colder than a witch’s titty

Like stink on poop

Like fly’s on shit

That ought to go over like a turd in a punch bowl

Dropped him like a bad habit

Like water off a ducks back

Not the sharpest knife in the drawer

Not the brightest bulb in the box

The lights are on but nobody’s home

Jerked a knot in his tail

I’ve got a hitch in my get along

That’s like pushing a watermelon through a garden hose

Knocked the snot bubbles out of him

Hit him so hard it killed his relatives

Knocked him into next week

Slower than molasses in January

Lazier than a pet coon

I feel like I’ve been sucked through a knot hole

Tighter than a banjo string

Like ugly on an ape

I Feel Like I’ve been shot at and missed, shit at and hit

Clumsy as a bull in china shop

Wish in one hand and shit in the other and see which fills the fastest.

Neat as a pin

Drunker than a monkey

Happier than a pig in poop

Balder than a peeled egg

Finer than frogs hair

Like a bump on a log

Like fallin off a log

Deader than a door nail

Faster than stripe assed ape

Is a frog’s ass water tight?

Sweating like a whore in church

Sweating like horse in heat.

Shaking like a dog poopin peach seeds.

Older than Methuselah

Can suck the chrome off a trailer hitch

Beat him like a red-haired stepchild

You’ll go to hell as quick for lyin as you will for stealin

Its time to fish or cut bait

Time to shit or get off the pot.

Like white on rice

Tighter than a bulls butt in fly time

Crazier than a loon

Don’t get you panties in a wad

Don’t get your boxers in a bunch

Keep skunks and bankers at a distance.

Life is simpler when you plow around the stumps.

Mortgaging a future crop is saddling a wobbly colt.

A bumble bee is faster than a John Deere tractor.

Teachers, bankers, and hoot owls sleep with one eye open.

Forgive your enemies. It messes with their heads.

Don’t sell your mule to buy a plow.

Every path has some puddles.

When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.

The best sermons are lived, not preached.

Most of the stuff people worry about never happens.

Lazy and Quarrelsome are ugly sisters.

Two can live as cheap as one if one don’t eat.

Don’t corner something meaner than you.

Trouble with a milk cow is she won’t stay milked.

Don’t skinny dip with snapping turtles.

Champagne taste on a beer budget

Fatter than a tick on a coon hound

So tight he squeaks when he walks

Looks like two puppies fighting under a blanket

Eyes look like two pee holes in the snow

Colder enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey

Don’t let your battleship mouth over-ride your rowboat ass

Tongue is loose on both ends with a spring in the middle

Don’t piss on my shoes and tell me its rainin

Don’t count your chickens before they hatch

When hell freezes over

Between a rock and a hard place

You’re just beatin a dead horse

Breath like a buffalo fart

Her breath smelled like a shit wagon

Useless as tits on a boar hog

Meanness don’t happen overnight.

Hillbily Sayings added by our guests:

ya caint clean up the creek without removing the hogs wollaring in it! ~Submitted By Unknown

I’m gonna get witcha. ~Submitted by Brady Jacks, IL

Hillbilly Sayings Pages Created by Our Guests

The following pages are pages created by our guests. Discover, true hillbilly lingo right here.

Educated Hillbilly: It’s just a way of speaking that you don’t think about, but the vowels are emphasized such as v aaaaaaaaaaaan, which is of course van or maaaaaaaaan, etc.
Different southern states have their own accents…

Craete your own hillbilly sayings and slang page by visiting our create a page section of the site.

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