36 funny love quotes:
Love is the only disease that makes you feel better.
~Sam Shepard
If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?
~Lily Tomlin
Love is a disease, but curable.
~Dame Rose Macaulay
Love is an agreement on the part of two people to overestimate each other.
~E.M. Cioran
A strong pair of glasses is sometimes enough to cure a person in love.
~Friedrich Nietzsche
Love, like restaurant hash, must be taken with a blind faith or it loses its flavor.
~Helen Rowland
No matter how love sick a woman is, she shouldn’t take the first pill who comes along.
~Dr.Joyce Brothers
Before I met my husband, I’d never fallen in love, though I’d stepped in it a few times.
~Rita Rudner
Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.
~Unknown Author
Only time can heal a broken heart, just as only time can heal his broken arms and legs.
~Miss Piggy
You can’t buy love, but you can pay heavily for it.
~ Henny Youngman
Love will find a lay.
~RB
How do I love thee? sometimes I wonder.
~Unknown Author
Men look at love the same way they look at smoke from their car engine: “Damn, how much is this going to cost me.
~Tim Conlon
Religion has done love a service by making it a sin.
~Antole France
Love your enemy – it will drive him nuts.
~Eleanore Doan
Everything was going great until I said, “I love you,” then he got this look on his face like he’d taken a wrong turn in a really bad neighbourhood.
~Roz Doyle
The last time I saw him he was walking down Lover’s Lane holding his own hand.
~Fred Allen
If I’m lucky, I’ll fall in love. If I’m unlucky, I’ll fall and hit my head.
~Emmy Gay
It is better to have loved and lost than to have never lost at all.
~Samuel Butler
I’ve learned that you can’t make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they’ll panic and give in.
~Emo Philips
I sold my memoirs of my love life to Parker Brothers and they are going to make a game out of it.
~Woody Allen
A man in love mistakes a pimple for a dimple.
~Japanese proverb
You have to walk carefully in the beginning of love; the running across fields into your lover’s arms can only come later when you’re sure they won’t laugh if you trip.
~Jonathan Carroll
Love is like those second-rate hotels where all the luxury is in the lobby.
~Paul-Jean Toulet
Love is an electric blanket with somebody else in control of the switch.
~Cathy Carlyle
What the world really needs is more love and less paperwork.
~Pearl Bailey
Stop waiting for Prince Charming. Get up and find him. The poor idiot might be stuck in a tree or something.
~Unknown Author
The best thing about you and me, is me.
~Unknown Author
You can’t put a price tag on love, but you can on all its accessories.
~Melanie Clark
Money can’t buy love, but it improves your bargaining position.
~ Christopher Marlowe
If couples who are in love are called “love birds”, then couples who always argue should be called “Angry Birds”.
~Unknown Author
I love you with all my butt, I would say heart, but my butt is bigger.
~Unknown Author
Love is what you make it. Unfortunately, I can’t make it today, as I have a doctors appointment.
~Hussein Nishah
Have you ever loved someone so much, you wanted to keep them hidden from the world & all to yourself? Well, apparently its called kidnapping…
~Unknown Author
When I eventually met Mr Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.
~ Rita Rudner
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